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A daycare teacher was found dead in her classroom by a co-worker yesterday afternoon. She had apparently been bound, suckled, and suffocated by most of the 18 babies she was watching.
Betty Sugdem, a new mother herself, had been working as a daycare provider at the Michael Jackson Daycare facility here in the "well-to-do" section of Cinderblock Grove.
"She was a nice lady....a big-chested lady,....she had some cans." the custodian John Plunger, fighting tears, told this reporter. "Looks like they got her for a good couple of gallons." He added. "She’s gone now, and we have to get on with our lives. There’s no use crying over spilled milk."
Ms. Sugdem was apparently lying on the cushioned floor for "naptime", and fell asleep amongst the babies. She was discovered by Plunger with her blouse opened, and her bra removed. Her hands and feet had been bound with adhesive diaper fasteners, and a full diaper was found lodged into her mouth. The buttons on the blouse and front closure on the brassiere appeared to be chewed on, or "teethed" until giving way. The children then took turns feeding from Ms. Sugden as she lay unconscious. An autopsy revealed severe dehydration and extreme distention of the nipples.
"This was not a gentle event, this was a vicious suckle." Forensic investigator Glen Gardner told me. "The most open and shut case of nipple-envy I have ever seen."
Ashley Rouch, 18 mos., and Tara Roberts, 16 mos., are the suspected leaders of what is being labeled the Cinderblock Grove "teething ring". Gardner continued, "I have seen this kind of behavior before, and believe it or not, it’s because of breast implants." It was then revealed that the mothers of both suspects did indeed receive implants several years ago. He explained that the babies are lured into a false sense of high expectation. Gardner continued, "In their infantile minds, they tend to equate the larger breasts with more milk, and become disappointed and sometimes violent when the yield doesn’t meet expectations." He went on to explain the resulting behavior at the daycare was unfortunately directed at the ample-breasted Ms. Sugdem. The 2 babies had supposedly been planning the gag-and-suckle for weeks. Rouch had been interrogated for 3 hours without a burp or collostrum. She later confessed to dropping a Rohypnol, more commonly known as the "date-rape drug" into Ms. Sugdem's herbal tea, causing her to fall into an almost comatose sleep-state. Rouch concealed the tablet inside her pacifier, which had a hollowed out nipple.
Tara Roberts was later taken into custody while scooching down the sidewalk in a stolen Graco walker along with some unknown accomplices. They were apparently attempting drive-by sucklings and walker-jacks on some of the neighborhood mothers who were out on their lawns with their babies. The victims were outside enjoying what had, just minutes before, been a normal day.