OUR KITCHEN AND WAIT STAFF IS SECOND TO MOST

OUR BUTCHER

Yankur Pantzoff is from the Youkrane, I think it's up north somewhere.  He is our main fish gutter and beheader.  He ain't much on English, so he just cuts fish up most of the day.  We make jokes on him a lot, but sometimes you have to be careful because he listens to a bunch of  Marilyn Manson,  and usually has a sharp object of disorientation on him. 

BUBBLES

If you are lucky, you will get Bubbles to be your server.  She has a hard time seein' stuff, and has recently had a stroke.  She tends to drool into the customers food, but most of em like it because she usually has an Altoid in there and it compliments the food's delicate flavor.  Her memory of the dishes we serve will amaze and distend you.  She is also our Wine Stewart, and has a grasp on our complete wine list for your drinkin' pleasure.

GLORIA

Gloria is a fine server, as long as you don't mind her drinkin' a bit.  She is at her best after whackin' down a few "Beast Ices"  before the dinner rush.  She is quite well-endowed, and will offer to open your beer in her "special place", if you buy her a shot of Crown. 

CARRIE

Carrie is training to be a server, but she fits in just perfect.  She hops around on her stump-leg just fine. 

PUNKY

Punky is Uncle Sticky's daughter and is our bus-girl.  She has many piercings, but you can't see most of them.  She is training to be a server, but also likes to hang out with Yankur in the kitchen and help with the guttin' and beheadin'.

BUCK NEKITT

Buck is our maintenance man.  He is in charge of keeping the shitter runnin', because when that puppy backs up, it's a whole new experience here at Aunt Pearls. He has 2 assistants, who don't quite have his intestinal ineptitude.

GONZO

Gonzo is trying to become a maintenance man, but has yet to overcome the aromas of the septic system here at the Restaurant.

DWAYNE

Dwayne is getting better, he just eats here a lot, and is suffering the constipations of overindulgence. He is featured here with a case of gastritis of the upper and lower blow-holes.